Chrissie is over

Chrissie is over
and we're no longer on rellie duty.

There's a big day ahead, so we're up at dawn's crack to get ready.

No time for brekky, we're straight into it.

She's gonna be a scorcher and the place will be chockers.

Me and me mates are throwing a barbie, and everyone is due to lob early this arvo.

There's a shedload of stuff to do so we'd best get cracking.

Thommo starts blowing up the pool and Nev is pegging down the slip 'n slide. 

He's piled a stack of beanbags at the end after what happened that one time when Jimbo flew down it like a shower of shit and come a cropper.

Straight through the bloody fence he went!

Laugh?

We just about cacked our dacks.

He was spewing.

Came stomping back mad as a cut snake, the claret pissing out of his big toe.

"Shut yer cake holes youse mongrels!" he was yelling.

Buckley's chance of that mate.

It was yonks ago and we still wind him up about it.

Still, get a feed into the big fella and that'll stop him whining like a cracked diff.

And there should be plenty of tucker, no wukkas.

We've got stacks of snags and patties.

Big Al cracks me up, he looks like he's bawling his eyes out chopping all them onions.

Jules is bringing her marinated chook and Barb's making a mega salad.

Crikey, we'll have plenty of veg tho. 

Some sliced spuds and I'll chuck a few mushies on the hotplate if I gotta, so buggered if I know who'll eat all that rabbit food.

Anyway, best keep in sweet with Barb, she can get a bit stroppy if you rub her up the wrong way.

I'll make meself scarce and lend Mitch a hand to fill the eskies. 

Just about every man and his dog is chipping in.

Y'know Tobes?

Dead set legend.

He thinks of everything that bloke.

Comes in with mozzie coils, bikkies and chockies for the littleuns, and a whacking great beach brolly to keep the rays off the cooks.

Even brings along a spare pair of sunnies coz he knows Gazza is bound to forget his.

Davo gave us a bell to say he'd swing past the bottle-o on his way over and grab some extra slabs and more ice.

Onya mate.

Good call.

Everyone's up for it big time.

Even Shaz has spruced herself up and chucked on her best lippy. 

Geez, I hope she doesn't come across all clucky when Shirl and Trev turn up with their ankle biters.

Word is, Jezza's coming too.

I'll be stoked to see him.

Can't wait.

He's been out woop-woop for yonks but had to come back to the big smoke when his old man took crook.

Things were a bit iffy there for a while, but the old boy came good in the end.

Simmo rocks in late, reckons he had a blow-out in his thongs, the bloody dag.

Bonging on more like, by the look of him.

Nearly ran into a booze bus on the way over here too he reckons.

Had to chuck a uey and do a runner.

Flamin' galah is gonna chance his arm once too often one of these days. 

No doubt Bazz will be off his face and end up dancing around in the nuddy again.

What a bludger that bloke is.

Waste of friggin' space I reckon.

He rocks up half cut, pigging out on Maccas, parks his arse and does nothing but suck longnecks and chuff durries while the rest of us do the hard yakka.

Strewth, take it easy dragging the plasma out will ya?

I know the Ashes are on, but the olds will go spare if you put a ding in the telly.

Time to crank up the acca dacca and blow the top off the first frothy of the day.

It'll be a rippa I reckon.

She's gonna go off.

We'll all be pulling sickies tomorrow.

A homage to youthful summers in Straya.