A Puntastic Tribute

30 YEARS OF ROCKING THE BOAT.

It's a Motley Crue that gathers to set sail on a Cruel Sea.

As an Audioslave everyone is part of The Cult, so they all get on.

But The Clash is inevitable and there can be Joy Division between Jet and The B52's.

It's hardly Kiss and make-up, but it's not all Social Distortion either.

Although you can never discount a little Rage Against the Machine.  

Iggy Pop isn't one of the Stooges, but he gets on well with everyone including Ian Dury and The Blockheads.

It's rare, but there has been a bit of Machine Gun Fellatio, even though John Lee is the only Hooker ever on board.

Surprisingly there is little friction on Black Sabbath between The Saints, The Angels and Judas Priest, so who says there's Faith No More?

When the skipper pulls up the Silverchair and takes the wheel, we head somewhere over the Rainbow to Nirvana.

The banter flies around like a Bullet for My Valentine shot from Sex Pistols and Velvet Revolver, but The Who knows the lame jokes and occasional Cheap Trick go down like a Led Zeppelin.

Among the Screaming Trees, there's likely to be Them Crooked Vultures, the occasional Def Leppard and certainly plenty of Scorpions, but never, ever a Flock of Seagulls.

Nick Cave seldom makes an appearance, but when he does the Bad Seeds will be there too.

And, if they come up against the Beastie Boys, the Pogues and the Gang of Four, look out.

It'll be mayhem with Slayer, The Stranglers and the Foo Fighters joining in.

There could be Dead Kennedys and undoubtedly, there will be Royal Blood but the Police are yet to be called upon.

Speaking of royalty, Queen always makes an appearance, but don't count on any Prince.

When the sun sets Deep Purple with barely a hint of Pink Floyd, it's not long before Black Flag falls, then we've been known to burn the Midnight Oil.

The nights can get pretty wild with Alice in Chains and Iron Maiden being fed Spiderbait and Anthrax while getting hammered with Nine Inch Nails.

When the sun rises the breakfast choices range from The Jam, Black Stone Cherry, Red Hot Chili Peppers, maybe a handful of Eminem's and even Lamb of God, but surely not Pearl Jam?

Time to cast off, so we Slipknot, rev up the Motorhead and head home.

Until next year.

1991 - 2021

A pun-laden tribute to a bunch of heavy rock loving mates I'm fortunate enough to go on an annual houseboat trip with - 24 blokes, 50 slabs of beer, 50 kilos of meat and a tomato.